#81 – What Is An Internet Marketer Anyway?

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You might still be wondering, just what is an “Internet Marketer” ? In this episode we define what it is and who can do it.

business-owner

In the podcast:

00:40 – Return to Melbourne
03:31 – Clients vs. customers
05:04 – A passion for guitar
07:18 – Contrasting work habits
09:51 – James’s current routine
11:27 – Selling Internets?
13:06 – Internet marketing defined
16:04 – Advantages of online marketing
19:25 – Who’s suited to it?
24:00 – Where’s a good place to start?
28:39 – Can James be funny?
33:42 – Freedom Ocean’s repeat listeners
35:00 – In closing

Tweetables:

What exactly is an ‘Internet marketer?’ [Click To Tweet]
The better you are at marketing, the less you have to sell. [Click To Tweet]
If you don’t have an offer that converts, you’re wasting time. [Click To Tweet]

 

i-love-melbourne

Internet Marketing Products & Resources

Here you’ll find Tim and James have some things to help your business become more powerful.

 

Transcription:

Tim: Welcome back listeners to another episode of your favorite Internet marketing podcast. I’m Timbo Reid. Over there, on his board, in the swell, Jimmy James Schramko.

James: Well back from the swell. But I did have a surf this morning and it was amazing.

Tim: Living the dream.

James: Thought I’d get in there before I head off down to Melbourne. Last taste of summer for a day or two.

Tim: Wow. Yeah. Just before we hit record Jimmy, what were the words actually about Melbourne, given I’ve been born and bred here?

James: Well I was born and bred there too, until I was six. It’s nice to visit there very briefly. I really like coming back up.

Tim: Yeah. Now, the microphone is on, you’re all different.

James: I don’t like going to Melbourne.

Tim: Wow.

James: I just don’t get it. Sorry. We have coffee here and nice weather. There’s no reason for me to go to Melbourne.

Tim: You like culture but whatever. Whatever.

James: I do go to other countries. I go to places like London. That’s like an older Melbourne.

Tim: You know how you didn’t come directly clean with like what did you say about Melbourne before I hit record. It’s something that I’ve been kind of interested in of late, which is often, when it comes time for a business owner to create marketing content or any type of content for their business. They become less conversational and find it hard to be themselves.

James: Well, I’m just trying to be more polite these days. I don’t want to offend all my fantastic Melbourne customers.

Tim: Yeah, right.

James: And it’s not their fault either. If they’re not living by the beach in a warmer climate, how would they know what they’re missing? So they might not understand why I say that. I do feel somewhat qualified because I was born there. I did live there for 6 years. I do remember it, and I visit there every year.

Tim: Oh, you don’t remember anything when you’re six.

James: Yeah, I do. I remember heaps, I remember my old sand pit, I remember the school.

Tim: You’re 67 now. Then it’s like ….

James: I remember it being constantly grey and drizzly.

Tim: Yeah well, it is to that.

James: I did hang out a lot with my babysitter’s family who were very much like the people in that movie “The Castle.”

Tim: Oh, I love that film.

James: They were so like that. The kings with everything. That was the family.

Tim: Tell them they’re dreaming.

James: If you’re listening to this and you’ve never watched “The Castle,” it is a classic Australian film.

Tim: Podcasting is a funny biz because generally we have a lot of people listening from overseas, and I’m pretty much guaranteed that anyone from overseas who watches the castle will not get it.

James: Yeah. They probably won’t get it. It’s going straight to the pool.

Tim: Right. So if you’re not from Australia…

James: But there are people like that. “The Castle” is one of my childhood memories of Melbourne, watching Bryan Henderson on TV and stuff, playing Lego. It’s great. But I really just like where I live. Is there anything wrong with that? Is there anything wrong with saying…

Tim: Let it go. Let it go.

James: I just like being at home.

Tim: Homeboy. Homeboy. Hey, you said Melbourne clients before. Clients versus customers.

Clients vs. Customers
James: Yeah well, technically I suppose they are customers.

Tim: What’s the difference? I always think client is if in you’re in a white-collar profession, and a customer is something in retail. That’s my weird kind of…

James: No. Client is someone who’s a custodian of your care. So if you’re at Mercedes-Benz, you want clients. It’s a higher service tag for a customer. But if you want to create a leveraged business where you’re not personally having to look after every single one of them, then you probably want customers.

Tim: Ah. They’re less important?

James: I’ve actually had clients at Mercedes-Benz educating me on this particular topic. I think customer is the lower term for it. So I’ve probably say client, but then if you read “Built to Sell,” I think it’s mentioned in there, that you don’t want clients, you want customers, because clients need customized work, personal attention, etc., and customers can be commoditized, and productized and turned into a system.

So I guess towards the person who’s buying your stuff, you might address them as a client. But I think they’re probably interchangeable for most people. But at Mercedes-Benz, they were most definitely clients.

Tim: You remember mate, we’re on FreedomOcean.

James: Yes. If we we’re taking a more relaxed approach, you could just say customers. People who give you their custom, who buy from you. It’s a customer.

Tim: You know what I’m reading at the moment?

James: What’s that?

Tim: Well you don’t.

James: I don’t. It was an ambitious question. I’ll give you that. Hang on, let me think, think, yeah, “Shantaram.”

The ultimate rockstar story
Tim: It was like, yeah, yeah, let me think, of the 5 billion titles. I’ve read that. It’s too heavy. You’d get sore arms reading that. And I don’t do audio books. I’m reading the autobiography, although I question whether it’s auto, it’s kind of written with a Rolling Stone slashes biography with Guns and Roses. Man! If half of it is true, it’s like the ultimate rockstar story. I mean it’s horrific. I mean you wonder how these blokes are still alive, the amount of drugs they did.

But big learning is just like putting aside the fact that he was out of control. He loved his craft, like he genuinely just had this deep, deep passion and respect for music, for the guitar in particular. I’d actually just finished Keith Richard’s biography and it was the same. Despite the fact that these guys are crazy, their deep respect and passion for what they do is amazing. That all 10,000 hours thing.

James: And what to they call it?

Tim: What? That love?

James: This book.

Tim: Oh the book. It’s called “Slash.”

James: Oh yeah.

Tim: Yeah.

James: I get it. I mean my son is so interested in guitars. I can see the passion. Like John Carlton said to my son, “You’ll know you’re interested in guitar if you play until your fingers bleed,” like they’re that passionate about it.

Tim: Well, have you ever seen Keith Richard’s fingers?

James: No.

Tim: Man.

James: It’s not something…

Tim: Not pretty. Well, like they are swollen, weirdly at the top, it’s not the bottom. So they’re quite thick up at the top. Google Keith Richard’s fingers. There you go. Just a little bit of homework for episode 81 of James, the FreedomOcean podcast, where as the wonderful lady up top said, “Timbo’s got a million questions and you’ve got a million dollars.”

The view on Internet marketers
That all came out many years ago when we started this show, like I was of the view ride, as I said to you, man, you must just be… I didn’t know if I said to you but I had a perception that you’re hanging off a hammock with a Macbook and working 2 hours a day. That was my view of Internet marketers.

James: It’s a common view. It’s perpetuated by experts.

Tim: You’re correct. By experts, by self-professed experts, you continue to see this kind of promotion.

James: Although, I must say there is the other vein, and I used that word carefully, there’s the other vein of expert who promote workaholism, which is the other extreme. And for some reason, that’s supposed to be very impressive.

Tim: And probably, that exists more. I actually interviewed a guy yesterday on the Small Business Big Marketing show. He’s Australia’s leading eBay seller for fishing tackle. Nailing it. Like doing big numbers from a little place up on the New South Wales coast, but it’s a shame to say that he works between 12 to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week.

James: So what’s the point of that?

Tim: Well we kind of went there in the chat, and we can become subjective or we can be objective. For him, like he loves it. He uses the word addiction often. He knows he’s kind of out of balance, he’s got a family, he even sits on the beach with his iPad when the kids are running around. I mean I don’t agree with that but again, we’re all on different journeys mate.

James: Well I’ve done both extremes.

Tim: I reckon when I met you, you were a bit like that. Although you were getting up lateish.

James: Oh definitely, like 10 or 11 in the morning.

Tim: Oh worst.

James: Basically, I used to work a day job and my Internet business. When I quit the day job, I used that morning to sleep in, and I’d still stay up at night like usual because I’d actually gotten into habit after two and a half years of staying up until 3 in the morning. That was my habit. My peak zone was 9:30 til 3:30, and I pretty much had the days off. So just having a pretty cruisy day.

Tim: 9:30 at night.

James: Yeah, 9:30 at night until 3 in the morning was my peak zone because kids are in bed asleep, it’s quiet, the Internet speeds up. I had crappy Internet. I literally couldn’t work during the day sometime because there was not enough Internet. So by necessity, my habit had worked around that shift. It’s very different now though. I wake up at 6 or 6:30. I’d wake up with the sun. I go to bed by 10:30 at night.

Tim: I think you also wake up and probably, what do you smash down a frothy milkshake these days or some kind of green tea?

James: No, I have a glass of water. I know that’s pretty tricky. A glass of water. Like this morning, I just went for surf. What a beautiful morning for surf and it was such good conditions. I had the biggest smile on my face like at 8:30 this morning because I was doing something physical and I was enjoying it and it was totally analogue like really involving the senses and not a little device or small screen.

Then I can come back to do a couple of podcast, which I’ve done one just before this, and we’re doing this one now, and then I’m going to fly down. I haven’t seen my friends in Melbourne, which is the reason I go. I go for the people.

Tim: You’re a man of the people.

James: I want to see the people.

Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James Jimmy Schramko. If he can’t turn you on, you got no switches.

James: I dare you to come to the pub and do that announcement when I walk into the room.

Tim: I would. Today is my son’s, little boy’s 7th birthday so I can’t. But next time. I’ll just walk in and do that and then leave. That’s just like in a court jester’s outfit .

James: That would be unreal. They’ll say, “Who the hell is that? Oh, that’s Timbo.”

Tim: One day. Hey now, we’ve got the Internet marketing thing mate. We have got a voicemail from a listener, Vineyard Paul. Take a listen to this.

Listener’s voicemail
“Hey Jimmy James and Timbo Reid. Vineyard Paul here. I’ve got a question for your podcast. Am I the right person to become an Internet marketer? What kind of person is best to join Internet marketing? And another question, when do I get one of these Internets to sell? Thanks for the show guys. I love the podcast. Cheers!”

Tim: Now Jimmy, before we answer Paul’s question, which is a bloody good question. And by the way, Paul’s been a long time listener of my show, probably a listener of your stuff too Jimmy. So thanks Vineyard Paul. VP, we call him, James. I get belted up a lot about my dad jokes, right? So I just want to give Paul a bit of a slap over the head because that last bit of that voicemail. Where do I get an Internet to sell?

James: That’s good.

Tim: You think that’s good?

James: I thought it was quite witty because it makes the whole question, now I’m not sure if he’s poking fun at Internet marketers or not.

Tim: Exactly right. He might be just taking the piss.

James: He could be taking the piss, but I think we should address it anyway because there’s probably someone thinking that Internet marketer is a career title.

Tim: Now, we are going to answer this question on behalf of everyone. I know Paul well enough. I’ve met him at a couple of my meetups. He’s been a member of my forum, but I think we should answer it on behalf of anyone who’s thinking of entering the world of Internet marketing. So first of all, let’s define what Internet marketing is and then let’s talk about who it’s suited to. So how would you define IM, Jimmy?

What is Internet Marketing?
James: I would say that it is purely a marketing channel. It’s just referring to the channel of marketing that is Internet-based.

Tim: That’s right. So it’s using the Internet to sell things.

James: To market.

Tim: To market.

James: And then it comes down to what your definition of marketing is.

Tim: Yeah.

James: And being such a small business expert, I’m sure you have a wonderful definition.

Tim: Well I love defining marketing. It’s what you do when you can’t go and see someone.

James: OK. I have a different one.

Tim: I have no doubt. I have no doubt like yours will have some kind of…

James: No, not at all. I’d say it’s basically letting people know that you exist because the people would be usually a group. Put it this way, I don’t know where you sit on this one, but the better you are at marketing, the less requirement you have to sell.

Tim: Oh, I love that. Marketing; great marketing generates inquiry, and it generates warm inquiry. Generally, the person who’s making the inquiry will be familiar with you and they will trust you and they’ll be a long way down the purchase kind of, what do you call it, purchase cycle, because they’re kind of already into you. That’s the type of marketing I love, which I call helpful marketing.

James: See, when you say it’s what you do, what is it? What you do when you’re not there.

Tim: It’s what you do when you can’t go and see someone.

James: Well that’s the same for me, I’m automatically thinking autoresponders and systems, though you could describe something else.

Tim: Totally. You think about it in an ideal world, if time was limitless. Going and sitting with someone, whether it be for a minute or an hour. It’s a pretty good way of kind of getting across who you are, what you’ve got, building trust, doing a deal. It’s not practical.

James: You know this topic really does fit nicely with stuff that’s been on my mind lately. I just pushed out an amazing podcast episode about there’s no holy grail, and the one thing you really must focus on in your online business and it fits with this.

Like people should not think of Internet marketing as a career. That is not correct. You are a business owner or practitioner, and you’re using the marketing channel of the Internet as your specialty. That’s where someone is tempted to call themselves an Internet marketer, what they really are is a business that’s primarily using the Internet as their communication channel.

Tim: It’ll be a keen to say, “I’m a TV advertiser,” which is like, no you’re not. It’s just the way you promote your business.

James: Exactly. It’s just not what you would say. “I’m a radio advertiser.”

Tim: Correct. Correct.

James: You’re not. Or “I’m a radio marketer.”

Tim: So I channel the market. With it comes some things that are really peculiar to the Internet.

James: Well this is the hammock comes in because the Internet offers us some obvious advantages and some obvious disadvantages over other mediums. So the obvious advantage is tremendous ability to leverage. We could be here and you could be down there in Melbourne, I’d say Melbourne, and I could be up here in beautiful, sunny beach suburb of Manly, and we could still communicate over the Internet with people in other countries and we can also specifically tailor our message to a very distinct niched market of people.

LIke we could go into Facebook and select a particular rage, and interest, and page that people like and just put our message to those people. So it’s very specific and it’s very leveraged. It can also be operating while we’re asleep. That is a phrase that comes up a fair bit. We can have our website live 24/7 marketing and selling our business. So that’s pretty cool. They’re the things that attracted me to it.

Tim: Relatively an inexpensive channel to set up too.

James: A really low barrier to entry. Like any mom, dad or kid can get on the Internet, they could get a Facebook thing and start plugging away an affiliate link. Like it’s so easy to access.

Tim: Or eBay, set up an eBay store.

James: That’s some of the downsides are – that it’s so easy to access. It’s very noisy. So for example, if you take a higher barrier to enter a business like direct response mail, you can still be very specific with the lists that you get a hold of. It just requires a little more capital and investment upfront in the sales copywriting, and the stamps, and the envelopes, and postage, and there’s a longer time cycle between when you send it and when you get a result. However, mail gets a high open rate and you can have tremendous results with that.

Same with your medium of choice, Timbo, is live presentations. Like that’s a very intimate medium. You get instant feedback when you’re talking to people in a face-to-face environment. Aside from one-on-one, it’s probably got to be the highest conversion ratio possible compared to a video on a website or a podcast, like if you can one-on-one speak to a group of people at the same time, it’s kind of leveraged, very personal medium, and high conversions. Just a little more intensive on resource. You’ve got to manage your energy and finance. You’ve got to go places, and stay places, and catch planes.

Tim: I went to Fiji yesterday for 20 hours.

James: There you go. I went to Los Angeles once for a one-day conference. I went there on a plane, hopped off at night, had a few hours sleep, did the conference, went straight to the airport and got back on the plane in the same crew that flew there were on the return journey, and they looked at me twice like…

Tim: Yeah, what’s going on there?

James: You look familiar.

Tim: What did you forget?

James: Weren’t you on yesterday’s plane? I’m like, yup. They’re like, so hang on, you flew to Los Angeles for a day? I’m like, yup.

Who’s suited to be an Internet marketer?
Tim: Back to VP’s question; is he suited? I think anyone’s suited. It’s a great business to start part time too. I know a lot of people listening to my other podcast, I call them cubicle escapees, and they’re not necessarily looking at starting a business using the Internet. They’re just wanting to start a small business. But certainly, Internet marketing allows you to start a lot more easily and you can run it from home. You can probably sneak a bit of work on it while you’re in the cubicle too in your full time job.

And you know, I think the one thing where you go am I suited to it? It can be lonely. You can get your connections with other people via other ways if you’re an Internet marketer but it can be a bit of a lonely existence. You find yourself trapped in a room on a keyboard for extended periods of time. What do you reckon about that?

How to be a better Internet marketer
James: You know, I think that some of the skills you’ll need if you want to be good with the Internet marketing channel is you’ll probably going to be better at it if you’re a little bit disciplined and strategic about what it is that you’re doing when you are on the Internet.

Here’s a thing people should be focusing on. I’ll give away the punch line is: focus on an offer that converts. That is what matters. If you don’t have an offer that converts, whether it’s yours or someone else’s, whether it’s an email or a purchase or whatever, then you’re wasting your time. All the rest of it is bull****. Who cares about the font color, or the size of the pixels on your banner or whatever? If you don’t have an offer that converts, you are wasting your time.

So a good Internet marketer is going to clearly define what the measurement of success is, i.e. what do you want to happen? What is the result? Do you want the phone to ring? Do you want someone to click, add to cart and then checkout just to put money in your account? If that is the measurement of success, then a good Internet marketer is going to be fairly strategic in breaking down the process of what has to happen for the offer to convert and then implementing and executing the things that need to happen.

So if you can do all of that and still manage to avoid all the crap that’s coming through the inbox with any number of exciting offers to distract you and appeal to your self-prescribed entrepreneurial ADD, which seems to be some kind of epidemic amongst the experts evidently. How many videos go, “I’ve got ADD.” I’m like really? Or maybe you just have a weak-*** discipline. So discipline is going to be good. Analytical or strategic thinking is helpful. There’s a couple of things that I’d throw into the mix.

Tim: Yeah, yeah. Love what you sell.

James: What if you sell tampons though in your blog? I suppose you could think that, well they are great tampons. They’re made of high quality materials. The research group has said they’re better than the other ones or whatever. I guess you’ve got to sell with integrity. You shouldn’t sell hope and rip people off.

Tim: I’ve come across a number of Internet marketers the last couple of days, well last week. I visited a business called costumes.com.au, which is in a purely online plane, got a big warehouse out in the suburbs of Melbourne, but founded and run by three IT guys. None of which have any interesting costumes whatsoever. I mean there it was, mate.

James: Yeah. Well I don’t think you’ve got to love it.

Tim: No, no. They love the systems..

James: It’s redefining which bit you love. You don’t have to love the costume. I think you should sell costumes that are good for consumers. I think you should think about your customer.

Tim: I quite liked, Jimmy just to digress, I quite liked the Bavarian barmaid outfit.

James: You like that one? You could get a job in a German beehouse with that. There’s one of them running around on a back of a bus somewhere in Sydney. It’s got very prominent front parts of that uniform.

Tim: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

James: I think they’re doing a bit of a pun on the word jag.

Tim: Right. OK. Lovely jags. And Jimmy, I could see you in a bit of a, I don’t know, sort of like a Pinocchio-type set up or…

James: I’d be going in a black, curly wig. I’d be Slash.

Tim: Oh there you are.

James: Sounds like he’s a party boy.

Tim: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could be Slash. You’d have to do a lot more drugs though than you currently are, which is…

James: Well… (laughs)

Tim: I had to get that in. (laughs)

James: I don’t even have beer in the fridge.

Tim: Sorry mate. We don’t need to go into any detail about what you could do if you chose to use the Internet to market something because we have done that infinitely, if that is such a word, in previous episodes. So go back through the back catalog of Freedom Ocean. We talk about webinars, we talk about affiliate marketing, we talk about creating products, we talk about all sorts of stuff.

A good place to start
I must say though, again it’s kind of topical in my world at the moment because I’ve been interviewing a few people about this stuff is eBay. It would appear to be one of the easiest places to start. It’s a ready, set, go marketplace. It’s got traffic. It’s got a tried and tested formula. So if you really wanted to test something, find the gap in the marketplace, focus on an offer, find an offer that converts, and it might be a good place to start. Thoughts on that, Jimmy?

James: Well, why don’t you have an eBay store?

Tim: Well, I don’t have a store. I mean I use eBay. We’re moving house next week.

James: I use Gumtree.

Tim: Yeah? Well that’s another marketplace if you like.

A simple business model
James: Look, the simple business model is you find something in your house that you don’t anymore, and take good photos of it, and write something compelling about it, and put it on one of these listings and sell it. That is literally converting something into cash using an online marketing channel.

Tim: Paul is into wine. VP, Vineyard Paul is into wine. I wonder what could he flow, I mean one would appear to be not necessarily what seems the obvious solution but there’d be some other things. He could make a training course. He’s pretty passionate about it. I looked at his blog this morning before we came on air. He blogs a lot about helping other vineyards kind of sort themselves out on social media and various other forms.

James: When I heard Vineyard Paul, I thought that that was his name and that his parents were wine aficionados.

Tim: Yes, well that would be unusual. Hey, Vineyard. How’s it going?

James: But you know, like it’s not out of the question.

Tim: I think it is.

James: You do?

Tim: Yeah.

James: Oh, I’d love to get a listener vote on that.

Tim: Sure, sure.

James: I was prepared to just accept that his first name was Vineyard.

Tim: Well alright now, I apologize to all listeners called Vineyard who are listening.

James: Yeah. If your name is Vineyard, please leave a comment, support me.

Tim: And I’m going to back that up by saying Railway Yard, I deeply apologize. I didn’t mean to offend you. And Truck Depot, I’m so sorry.

James: That’s stretching it big.

Tim: Not really. It’s just Vineyard, Truck Depot, Railway Yard…

James: What are some of the best eBay listing descriptions you’ve written? You must have had some wonderful copy there, some insights for us?

Tim: I actually have, an unfair question because I can’t remember, but one thing I am completely against, the use of Comic Sans particularly in fluoro colors as the font of choice for your headlines in eBay. I think Comic Sans may make a return at some point but not in the near future. Just stick with Aerial, or is it Arial? Hey! It’s a question.

James: I’d say Arial.

Tim: Yeah. I’d say Arial. I bet that’s Melbourne, Sydney thing.

James: Do you say “Maldivz” or “Maldives”?

Tim: “Maldives”.

James: See, I’m being re-educated to call it “Maldivz”.

Tim: What about shopping mall or shopping “mell”?

James: Oh mall. There’s no question. No question about that.

Tim: You know, the analogy of Sydney, Melbourne. Melbourne is the conservative brunette and Sydney is the big, buxom, blonde.

James: OK. I’ll roll with that.

Tim: We’re digressing. At least I am.

Freedom Ocean is coming up to 5 years
James: So, do you know our first episode was in February 2011?

Tim: As comedic partners, you should at least support me in jokes that both…

James: I am supporting. I even put in a chuckle.

Tim: Go back. I just said a joke.

James: I did. I laughed.

Tim: If that’s a chuckle, we’ll go with it. But down in Melbourne, a chuckle’s like this. Are you ready?

James: (laughs)

Tim: (chuckles) Like that. Chuckle. Yep, there it is, right there. You know. I’ll be corrected.

James: There you go. I’ll support you mate.

Tim: Yeah, what a month.

James: February 2011, we published.

Tim: Yeah. We’ll hit our straps at some point.

James: That means we’re coming up to 5 years?

Tim: I don’t reckon you will. I don’t think you will, and I don’t think people want you to.

James: I’ll get there somewhere. I’ll turn funny. You watch, just like that, somewhere out of the blue, bang!

Tim: Well…

James: No, I can. I can change.

Tim: I just think that’s not how you roll.

James: Well, they want me to be the serious, unfunny one.

Tim: Then try to be funny.

James: You can be hilarious on this show.

Tim: Do a course. There are friends of mine, two stand up comedians. They’re trying to get the numbers. They’re bloody hopeless marketers. Hello Troy and Zara.

James: Yeah, I’ll try.

Tim: In 2 weeks’ time, they’re doing this standup comedy thing. It’s called Stand Up Yourself. They just want 10 people. That’s all. Just 10. And we spent 2 days together creating a 5-minute stand up routine from scratch. On the night, on the last night we put on stage on a pub in Melbourne, like a Seinfeld stage, like black curtain, spotlight, microphone on stand, audience. Away you go.

James: If I was forced into that, I would probably just steal my friend’s jokes. If I was at a pinch.

Go original
Tim: Well, that’s really interesting you say that because most people do that. Like that wouldn’t be a very unique approach. I have also just finished Steve Martin’s biography called “Born Standing Up.” There’s a moment in his career, because up until then he was using everyone else’s jokes, and there’s a night where he said, “You know what? As of right now, every gag is unique as mine.” And that’s when he started.

James: I really like the original path. The main challenge that I’ve been having is that I’m just not funny. So I’ve got great material in my own mind but no one laughs at it. It’s like invisible humor.

Tim: Do you? Do you get a little internal joke?

James: I crack jokes all the time. Yesterday, I was particularly funny. I was cracking amazing jokes and I can get in a roll.

Tim: Oh yeah, Jimmy James, what a roll.

James: There are some people, there’s not many. I’ll grant you that. There’s one or two people who laugh when I’m in my funny mode. They can laugh at me.

Tim: Are they just being nice to you?

James: Well I just like to hang around with them because they make me feel good.

Tim: Maybe they are.

James: Maybe they are. Maybe they’re just kind.

Tim: Next time you’re on a roll, just ring me. Just ring me, will you?

James: OK. I will. I’ll call you when I’m in a hilarious mood and I’ll see what I can come up with.

Tim: Oh, I’d love that. Now Jimmy, have we answered VP’s question?

James: Look, I’ll give an example of one.

Tim: No, don’t. Don’t.

James: Are you sure?

Tim: Well, this is where it all turns to sh** because now you’re going to try and recreate a time when you were funny, and it’s like, humor doesn’t work like that. I don’t think. You’ve got to be in the moment.

James: OK. All right.

Tim: Go on, do it. Go on.

James: Well, I was standing here at Shelly Beach and I saw this sign, and it’s like all the things you can’t do. Like you can’t pick up shells off the beach, you can’t fish, you can’t even feed the fish. Then I’m just wondering, if I’m surfing at the bower right there in the reserve, and I get eaten by a shark, am I going to get a fine for feeding the fish at the same time? Like what a bad day would that be?

Tim: Yeah. It’s…

James: There’s probably the bones of a joke, right?

Tim: Bones of a joke. You could work on it.

James: I could work on it. I could get a proper comedian to turn that into something.

Tim: Yeah. That’s where they’re good.

James: Yeah. Set up reveal. I’ve got to work on one part of it.

Tim: Yep. Yep. Love that. I love the process comedians go through, and Steve Martin talks about this a lot. Where they just carry their little book and they write their little ideas. I would write that down when I got out of the water and I’d at some point go back on that and go, how can I work on that. And if read the stuff around Saturday Night LIve, that famous show out of the States years ago. I think it’s still on actually. But those guys, Belushi and all those guys who just sit around the back and just have fun.

In fact, I think this is still relevant, we’re still in the Internet marketing world, there’s a great podcast that I’m listening to. I can’t remember the name but it’s Alec Baldwin interviewing really famous people in their homes.

James: OK.

Tim: Man, it is so good.

James: He’s got some strong branding.

Tim: What’s that?

James: Strong branding.

Tim: Strong branding. Yeah, yeah. Right. But he interviewed Seinfeld and that was a wonderful interview. Seinfeld talks about how it’s just him and Larry David for 99% of the time that Seinfeld was on air. They were just locked in a room, and would write, and toss around ideas and build on them. No interruptions. Leave us alone.

James: Is it called “Here’s The Thing”?

Tim: Yup.

James: Yeah.

Tim: It’s a ripper. If Vineyard Paul and Railroad and Truck Depot and all those guys would stop listening to this podcast…

James: Yeah. They may well do…

Tim: I guess they’re not listening anymore. We have digressed so often that there’s no one left. That’s OK. It’s just you and I. But that’s the podcast I would suggest they listen to. If they’re going to drop the ocean, if they’re going to swim away, then head over to “Here’s The Thing.”

James: You know what, some little interesting tidbit though, a quarter of our episodes are listened to several times.

Tim: Nice.

James: Like of all the downloads we’ve ever had, one quarter of them are repeat listens.

Tim: That’s great. I get that a lot on my podcast too, because it’s bit of education and entertainment.

James: Well maybe they were just replaying it back to see if I really did laugh at your joke or not.

Tim: Yeah, yeah, that’s right.

James: Or they want to share with someone else and laugh out loud at our incredible dad jokes, etc. Who knows?

Tim: Tidbit’s a funny phrase, isn’t it?

James: Yes.

Tim: Because like, what’s that about?

James: My dad actually, speaking of dads and humor, he quite often likes to point out the origin of things to me. Where these things come from, strange expressions. And if I can remember one single one of them right now, I would share it with you.

Tim: Can you ask him about tidbit?

James: OK. I’ll send him an email, and he will spend some considerable time researching it because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Tim: Funny guy?

James: Yeah. He often writes to the paper for the little jokes column, laughs column or whatever it is.

Tim: Love it.

James: He gets published in there a bit.

Tim: Hey Jimmy, go home.

James: Yeah. I’ve got to go back to my birthplace.

Tim: Yup.

James: So, I’ll come down there and share some good vibes in the Melbourne environ.

Tim: Yeah, yeah. The environ. Dress warmly. It’s cold down here. And mate Vineyard Paul, thank you for your voicemail.

James: Stimulus.

Tim: Well, I think we answered it somewhere in there.

James: Yeah. We prompted a very good discussion and I think we concluded that we are not Internet marketers, we’re business people who use the Internet as a marketing channel.

Tim: Jimmy and other listeners, if anyone’s still there, you can head over to Freedomocean.com and find an entire archive of ways and ideas of becoming something.

James: Years and years’ worth of stuff.

Tim: Years and years’ worth. And if you want to send us a voicemail that we will address on the show, then please do. There’s a little button there. It’s called SpeakPipe, and you can just record stuff and we’ll play it. We will play it. If it’s funny, we’ll play it twice.

James: Yeah, it gets an extra chance if it’s funny.

Tim: Hey mate, enjoy Melbourne. Love your work, Jimmy. Until next time. I have no sign off so, stay casual, Cincinnati or whatever he says on anchorman. Bye.

James: Roger, roger.

  • Vineyard Meaijer

    hi guys, just putting a shout out to say there is a Vineyard listening to the show. My parents are Dutch hippies who loved being naked and drinking wine. They claim they conceived me in a vineyard in France so decided to call me that! Not sure whether any other Vineyards are out there, or Truck Depots or Railway Yards but at least one Vineyard. Maybe one day I can meet up with Vineyard Paul. Love your show.

    • YES YES YES!!!! Thank you Vineyard. That is SO awesome.

  • Hey guys, good to hear you back on the waves. Speaking of playing until your fingers bleed, you should check out the film Whiplash, about a young drummer trying to make it, and the lengths he goes to, including playing until hi hands bleed. Worth a watch next you time you hit the hammock.
    cheers
    Justin

    • I really liked Whiplash. It reminded me of my old boss…

      • Crikey, must have been a rough working environment. Did your hands bleed from punching a calculator?

        • Actually he spat on me and threatened to kill me with a knife…

          • Did it help you on your journey to get where you are today?

          • Just like the movie…

  • ADD vs WAD (weak ass discipline) love it.